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I hate the forced rationalization used to justify creating this excellent example of advertainment—"it's just an effort to make you smile, in exactly the same way Cadbury Dairy Milk does."

The ad is undeniably hilarious, but I take issue with the advertising strategy behind it. Chocolate makes people smile? Really?

That's pretty weak, isn't it? In my experience, the arrival of chocolate tends to excite people. At the sight of Cadbury, I've seen people's eyes light up and bulge out of their heads. I've seen their mouths drool like a bulldog shot up with Novacaine. Smiling is essentially a secondary response in this case, like blaming the dog after you fart—it's totally involuntary.

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To a lot of ad folk, an Addy is an impressive award that they proudly display on shelves, mantles, bedrooms, car hoods and resumes. However, in most cases, Addy shows are only as good as the judges. And in most cases, that's not too good.

I just flew back from a wild weekend in California. And boy, are my arms tired. Yo, dudes. Check out this psycho-itinerary. Thursday, May 20th at 2:00pm, I jetted off to LA, and arrived at 8:00pm PST (that's 11:00pm my time). Crashed at my bud Barry's place, and forced his Significant Other to feed us. On Friday, I went to see the office where Barry no longer works, to do lunch. (Since then he moved to a more lucrative job and hopefully, an office that doesn't double as a filing cabinet.) After work we drove three hours north to eat at the world famous Harris Ranch. A fabulous steakhouse place surrounded by a lot of evidently, very clueless cows. Smelly, vile, manure-producing, cows. We assumed you could go out and choose the particular beast you want. Kinda like dooming a lobster.

Look, I've been getting a lot of grief from my so-called "friends" who didn't get a copy of the second Crosby Report-- and to those who didn't -- hey, too bad. But the Postal Service ain't making it too cheap, what with postage up to 29¢. So, send me $2.00 (or better yet stamps) and I'll be sure to send you 6 big, bi-monthly, one-color issues of The Crosby Report.