The real problem with modern society. And, surprise, it's not internet porn.

NOTE: This was written before terrorists were invented.

The downfall of society can, I think, be directly traced to the precipitous decline of fear in this country. Not the fear of uzi-totin' criminals or large-toothed beasts, but of our fellow Americans. You know, the guy next door. Sure he seems nice enough, but what do you know about him REALLY? Not too much, I'll wager. And that's why you make nice and try not to get him riled. Otherwise, he might go postal and slaughter your whole family during the night with a hedge-trimmer.

See? Now that's a civilized relationship. You don't bother him, he doesn't murder you. Then, if you have a problem with him blowing leaves over into your lawn, you knock politely on his door and ask him nicely to blow them on his OTHER neighbor's lawn instead. (Because that guy's a douche of whom neither of you is afraid.)

That's the positive effect of fear; the basis of all law enforcement. How else are you gonna instill civility in people? By asking them to nicely? Don't bet on it. This is American and dammit, we're entitled to have things OUR WAY, just ask Burger King. If we don't get our way, we're gonna A.) kick somebody's butt from here to Timbuktu, or B.) sue a large corporation with deep pockets, even if they had nothing to do with our problem.

Why? Because we've virtually eliminated dread in modern society. With each generation we get wimpier and wimpier. Take me, for example. I'm a total wuss. I get winded if I surf all 60 channels of cable TV.

My parents, conversely, are much tougher. They never complain about anything. You could chop their limbs off and they'd muddle through without ever calling a barrister.

I'm betting their parents were even tougher still (I sincerely doubt that my grandfather would've taken time away from putting food on his children's table to picket the TV studio that canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.)

Now that we, as the dominant species on this planet, have taken care of all the big problems in life—Death by Sabertooth Tiger and Donny Osmond's comeback album—we're stuck whining about the little things. Like rush hour traffic and the decline of customer service. Ironically, the more successful we are at surviving, the less civilized we become.

Think about it. When you're well-off and comfortable, you're less likely to tolerate even the tiniest inconvenience. It's that whole Princess and the Pea scenario. You get so used to ideal circumstances, that you're put off by the slightest imperfection. Some would call that "discerning". But most would call it being a "royal pain in the ass".

You work hard trying to smooth out and refine your life until it is perfect. And when it gets close, you have nothing to notice except the small niddling snags, and they upset you as if they were insurmountable problems because you don't have any big things to tick you off. That's why a quick uppercut to the jaw cures most folks overly concerned with declining moral values. It gives them something more immediate to worry about: Internal bleeding.

And that's where fear comes in. It makes you cautious and more concerned with your fellow man—is he carrying a concealed weapon? Fear makes you circle the wagons.

It keeps us honest. It keeps us striving. Without it, we get complacent. We get lazy. We fall asleep on the couch, the cigarette falls and we torch the house. Then, where would we be? Out on the street. Right where "they" can get to you.

As a newborn, you lived without fear in a utopia in which all your needs and wants were immediately catered. And what did you accomplish? Bubkiss. Nothing except an abundance of dirty diapers. And, frankly, nobody needs 270 million more of those.

Fear is learned, it is not innate. You aren't born knowing that the surface burners on a stove will burn you. That the wall socket can stop your heart. That the man up in the clock tower with a rifle isn't in a good mood. Or that spitting up on a pitbull will send you to the emergency room. No, you have to find those things out the hard way.

At some point we came to believe that a safe life is our birth right. That the realities of the world should somehow exclude us. Or even that it can.

Now that we're so civilized, people assume the world is a safe place. That someone is watching out for them. Or that, if something does happen, the great benevolent US government, will sweep in and save them. That's what makes people act like assholes.

Fact is, people need stress and hardship. If they don't get it in everyday life, they will go out and create it themselves. Hence the popularity of extreme sports like skydiving and bungie jumping. People need excitement, good or bad. It makes them feel alive. That's also what fear does. It isn't crime-riddled urbanites who go out looking for some way to risk their life, it's the suburbanites in the rural areas that are bored to tears.

By making the world safe, we create a backlash of people trying to make their existence more dangerous. There's a balance that many sensitive-types fail to acknowledge.

Folks want the world to be safe for their kids. But for their kids to do what? Exercise their Id? Their base instincts? Violence IS one of man's base instincts. So is random sex. What happens to a kid when you make the world safe for him or her? S/he gets really obnoxious. Painfully so. Kids need to know the world is not soft and warm. It is cold and has sharp corners.

Where are they going to learn to be civilized? To play nicely with others. Are parents going to teach them limits? Yeah, right. They're going to pass it off on the schools, because they're too tired from working their dual careers.

Life teaches restraint. Getting your ass kicked once is the best way to prevent, or at least temper, a person's violent reaction the next time.

Take away the fear of getting hit crossing the street and you increase the likelihood that exactly that will happen. Don't lower the bar for people, raise it and make them live up to it. Sort of a twist on the idea that if you've got a lot of crap to deal with, don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back.

Americans have always felt unduly self-important and that's not necessarily bad, but when the attitude of "screw you" becomes ubiquitous, it becomes harder to act civilized. That attitude should be met with a "no, screw you" backed up by swift and severe punishment to keep people in line. Freedom is important, but so is respect for others and self-restraint. That's why the death penalty and corporal punishment are not so bad. The message has to be sent to people that there will be grave repercussions for their actions. Americans are irresponsible, constantly looking for a scapegoat. Someone to blame their poor performance or bad luck on. This all stems from the "I'm trying to make the world as safe and protected as I can" mentality. So if something bad happens, there ought to be someone else who's liable. Couldn't be something I did, could it?

Maybe it just happened, because things do. The world is a scary and unsafe world, but people don't think it is and we keep telling them we can make it safer when we can't. So when something tragic happens people look for a reason, when the reason is just hey, "shit happens".

We have to stop telling people that if something in their life is not up to par, they can sue. Somebody can be fingered. Some big faceless corporation who can foot the bill and pass the cost on to everybody else.

The world in unsafe. Living is risk taking. You can't be safe. You will die no matter what. Don't expect people to take care of you. Expect to get fucked. Then, when you don't, you'll be happy. (I've gone through life being disappointed only a few times. I've set my reasonable expectations very low. Try it, it works.)

Fear is a useful tool for civilization. Nay, it is a requirement. People will act how they want unless there is some repercussions for their actions. Either physical violence or societal disapproval. Cars are so expensive that no one seriously considers swapping paint with stupid drivers who cut them off. The shootings in LA are a good example of society keeping itself civilized. I bet people thought twice about cutting off other drivers while that was going on.

I once heard a story about how airbags were actually contributing to accidents by giving people the false notion that they were safe in their car at high speeds. Therefore, their level of awareness about the road and surrounding drivers dropped putting them at risk for having an accident because they weren't paying attention. The writer suggested that if you want people to drive more safely, don't put an airbag in the steering wheel, put in a sword.

People operate best when they are expected to accept responsibility for their idiotic behavior. We can't keep tolerating stupidity. If people want to drive without a seat belt, we should void any insurance payoffs if they get in an accident. Why should one man's foolhardy unthinking behavior cost society a dime? It shouldn't.

China has it right to one extent in that sometimes what's good for the masses is good for the individual. Am I advocating a return to a monarchy? No.

Just swift and certain punishment for stupidity.